Foreign Service Officer Test

This is a slight departure from the norm. Right now, I am not ranting or raving.

Right now, I'm just nervous.

In less than an hour and a half, I will be sitting down to take the Foreign Service Officer Test, step 2 in the process of becoming a member of the U.S. Foreign Service. I can't remember the last time I wanted something this badly, nor can I remember ever being nervous about a test, an audition, an interview...anything.

What if I just don't know as much as I think I do? Or, what if I remember all the wrong things? I feel like I am going to walk out of this test and immediately email my PG 279 professor from university and apologize for not taking her class more seriously. In fact, I may do that beforehand -- a preemptive quest for absolution as I pray that I won't have to remember Chi-square or Spearman's rho and how to use them.

I've been getting mixed responses when I tell people that I've begun this process. Most people are just politely interested, but one of my close friends posed this question: "How will you feel working for an administration with whose policies you disagree?"

I'll admit, I struggled with this one briefly. After all, I've been a card-carrying Democrat since before I was even old enough to vote. I believe that the government has a responsibility to help society at all levels. However, in the last year or so I've realized that my point of view has shifted rightward. And while I can't bring myself to "come out" as a Republican, I have to be honest and say that I am not a true Democrat. At the end of the day, though, I have to do what's right for the country. Being a Foreign Service officer to me is about more than serving the administration in office. Presidents and Congresspersons come and go, and regardless of their party or platform I will nearly always disagree with something they do.

But that's not what this is about. This is about the people who make up this country. This is about being a part of international dialogue. Basically...this is what I've wanted my whole life, even before I really knew it.

That's what scares me. But that's also what will (hopefully) get me through this test, and the process.

Send good thoughts.

Rants and Raves home