Promise Rings

I was driving back from a lunch date and Ryan Seacrest was on the radio (don't judge) talking about promise rings. The guy he had on with him (I think his name was Brad...) was going on about how he cares about his girlfriend and wants to get her a ring to show her, blah blah blah, but he doesn't want to propose because, well, they've only been dating for six months.

First, six months is a reasonable period of time to date before proposing marriage -- if you're ready.

Second, and the point of this little rant, if you aren't ready to propose then screw the promise ring. What is a promise ring anyway but a leash and collar? (Thanks to Ellen for that) It's one more consumer-driven and pathetic excuse to go rack up another bill for hundreds of dollars in the hopes of placating your girlfriend for a few more months while you decide what to do with her.

I like rings. I think they're pretty, and I always wear one or two. That being said, what I don't like is having to explain to someone that the ring I got for Christmas or my birthday from a sweet significant other is not -- let me say that again, not -- a precursor to The Ring. This happened to me two Christmases ago, when my then-boyfriend's parents began the wedding speculation because he made the decision to buy me a pretty ring instead of a necklace or bracelet or hell, a good book about botany or something. Talk about your awkward situations.

In our society it is no longer enough in a relationship to quietly date, then decide to marry. There has to be a milestone for everything: "Oh my GOD, we've been together for two whole months!" "Happy six month anniversary!" And on, and on. There is a commemoration for each step in a process that really has but a few -- you date, with or without a declaration of exclusivity; you get engaged; you marry.

Now, it looks something like this:
-Talking (flirting, meeting for drinks, maybe hooking up)
-Dating (you see each other a few times a week, but you're open to dating others)
-Relationship (yay, you're a couple. Gag me.)
-"Getting serious" (at this ambiguous point you may begin discussing marriage, but more likely you decide to move into a house or apartment together. You may have a kid. This stage has no set time limit, and is the first appearance of the dreaded "promise ring".)
-Engagement (if you've managed to not drown in the complexity of the preceding four stages, you may just decide that it's worth it to commit to this person -- for a few years if not for life. This is not happily ever after, though, but a stopping point before the vows. This is where you should be getting a ring.)
-Marriage (I'm not even getting into it here)
-The rest of your life (including but not limited to children, separation, divorce, mid-life crises, job changes, medical scares and the occasional week-long vacation)

All I'm saying is, what's the point?